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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24820534">Stolen moments</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minne_My/pseuds/Minne_My'>Minne_My</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Worst Witch (TV 1998), The Worst Witch (TV 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, F/F, Family, Femslash, Gen, Pippity, Theatre</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:09:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,974</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24820534</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minne_My/pseuds/Minne_My</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Baz &amp; Gaz get roped into doing the pantomime by their aunt. What will happen?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lavinia Crotchet/Constance Hardbroom, Pippa Pentangle/Dimity Drill</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Stolen moments</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>'Oh please! It would be so fun' she pleaded with her errant nephews. Baz and Gaz rolled their eyes. They were used to their aunt's flights of fancy but a pantomime. Really?</p><p>'We need replacements. The others dropped out so quickly. You won't be a horse, I promise. Just the ugly sisters.'</p><p>More drag? They did that for a dare the year before. They huffed and sighed, hoping she'd make it worth their while.</p><p>'Doughnuts every rehearsal' she promised them. 'And no heels this time.' She knew how they'd cursed those heels.</p><p>Baz and Gaz withdrew and discussed it in a mutter.</p><p>'At least neither of us will be the back end of the horse.'</p><p>'Yeah but more dresses? And itchy wigs.'</p><p>'There's not that much to do though. Three scenes maybe.'</p><p>'Yeah I guess we're not busy.'</p><p>They turned back and agreed to do it.</p><p>'Thank you! So much!'</p><p>They trudged into rehearsals that week to be greeted by peppy amateur thespians.</p><p>'The doughnuts had better be plentiful' muttered Gaz to Baz.</p><p>'Don't worry, they will be' said their pantomime mother opening a box and shoving it in their faces. 'Pippa sent them in advance. She'll be late today. Thanks for stepping in, it's such a relief. Hello, I'm Dimity. Which one of you is which?'</p><p>They introduced themselves, Baz with floppy blonde hair and Gaz with dark curls. First cousins but brought up as brothers, thanks to the numerous Pentangle sisters, of which Pippa was one of the youngest.</p><p>'Welcome to the madhouse' Dimity declared, throwing her arms wide to the mayhem.</p><p>'Thank you, you wonderful lads!' Lavinia Crotchet, the director exclaimed, shaking their hands vigorously. She was a small lively Lancashire blonde and they warmed to her instantly. They were halfway reading through lines with Dimity when Pippa rushed in.</p><p>'Wonderful, you're here! Ok, I'll be ready in just a minute' she trilled. The show couldn't go on without her for she was playing Cinderella, a most coveted role. She wriggled into her chair with a smile at the populace. Dimity beamed back. Constance, the most unlikely fairy godmother in existence just nodded her head in greeting.</p><p>'Higher voices, boys and be bratty. Make the audience hate you.'</p><p>Baz and Gaz found the rehearsal process a lot more work than they realised. Doughnuts, a laugh with Dimity and overhearing a few conversations through the weeks kept their interest.</p><p>'Lavinia. I have searched within me; I have peered within the darkest corners of my soul but time is marching on and I have yet to find within me the slightest trace of fairy godmother.'</p><p>'You must keep looking within you Constance, it's in there, I know it' assured the director.</p><p>'It is not in me Lavinia, I'm just not that type of person.'</p><p>'Exactly! It's called acting against type.' Lavinia knew she could get Constance to act it out. She just had to work on it.</p><p>Constance lowered herself to let Lavinia arrange the tiara on her bun. Lavinia liked a bit of method acting through costume. The boys learned to stomp around the stage in their big skirts to get a feel of the movement of the character. They found it to be a bit cumbersome but they were getting into it, raising their voices to girlish simpers and fluffing their wigs.</p><p>'I see. So it's to make it more of a challenge?'</p><p>'That's right.'</p><p>'Well that explains the thought process behind why you cast Mr Daisy as the prince then' replied Constance scathingly as she swished off.</p><p>Baz and Gaz snorted and spluttered at Miss Hardbroom's candour. 'Boys' said Dimity warningly as she struggled not to smirk at the folly of allowing Mr Daisy to be the prince. The man was hopeless.</p><p>As the performance started to cobble together, Baz and Gaz were starting to enjoy themselves. Dimity was a hoot as the stepmother, bellowing out her lines with a sneer and they played up to it with relish. The fly in the ointment was Mr Daisy's unfortunate stage fright. Every time Pippa winked or flirted with him, he seemed unable to respond coherently. Lavinia was wonderfully encouraging but they all felt that he wasn't as convincing as the dashing prince as he could be.</p><p>This week was a spectacular fail. He'd attempted to swagger on, stroke his beard and approach Pippa but when she beamed at him, he stopped in his tracks. She had that effect on people.</p><p>'Uhm…uhm' he stuttered, forgetting his lines.</p><p>'Oh for goodness sakes, will you just get on with it!' Exploded Constance. Constance was a little scary, truth be told. While considerably younger than her wife, her imposing bun made her seem even taller than she was and she wore decidedly old fashioned dresses. Baz and Gaz privately thought that she was a vampire and had tucked her fangs away in public. They'd heard Dimity and Pippa giggling about Lavinia trying to coax her into something frilly. Something that wasn't black.</p><p>'Constance dear' said Lavinia warningly. Constance subsided at her wife's behest and folded her arms severely.</p><p>'Uhm, I'm…not sure…'</p><p>He trailed off.</p><p>'Ok dear, let's take a break and we will reconvene after some sugar' Lavinia said kindly. Pippa handed round doughnuts. Lavinia shared one with Constance. She looked a little less scary when she was nibbling on something pink. Baz and Gaz struck up conversation with her and found out that she was a chemistry teacher. It was a subject they had really enjoyed at school and while they nattered between them about science stuff, Lavinia beckoned the other three over and consulted. The women looked enthusiastic and Mr Daisy looked relieved.</p><p>'Alright people, we have come to a decision' Lavinia announced. 'Dimity and Dardanelle will switch places. Dimity will play the prince and Dardanelle will play the stepmother.'</p><p>Constance nodded her approval. Baz and Gaz glanced at each other. Was it their imagination or did Pippa and Dimity look a little too delighted?</p><p>'Boys! I'm so sorry to let you down but I've got a damsel in distress to rescue' said Dimity cheerfully. 'But don't worry, I'll get Dardanelle inhibiting the frock of evil in no time.'</p><p>They doubted that. But Dimity was the eternal optimist. They started right there and then. He was shown how to traverse the stage at an unhurried pace, to project his voice in a tone higher than usual and to sneer. Sneering was especially important, they all felt. An evil stepmother must learn how to sneer properly. He was going to get the hang of it because there was no understudy dammit. Nobody else had auditioned.</p><p>Pippa drove them home, chattering on about the panto but it got the boys wondering.</p><p>'I hope you don't mind that Dardanelle is playing the stepmother now.'</p><p>They shrugged.</p><p>'Why should we?'</p><p>'It's just that you and Dimity get on so well together and have such fun in rehearsals.'</p><p>'Well it's not like she's left the show.'</p><p>They seemed unconcerned so Pippa put it aside. She was going to spend the rest of the week thinking about Dimity's prince. She'd got her number but she'd not had a chance to WhatsApp each other properly yet. Dardanelle was a lovely man but he was a mouse. The prince needed to be masterful, daring, swashbuckling...oh dear, her concentration was veering. Luckily they were coming up to a red light. Never mind, the boys hadn't noticed.</p><p>Now that Dimity was playing the prince to Pippa's Cinderella, Baz and Gaz couldn't stop noticing them being so girly. Giggling and sharing things and sitting closer to each other than usual. Oh, it was their scene. They clomped on to join Mr Daisy in his dress.</p><p>'Very good! You're doing splendidly' encouraged Lavinia. Mr Daisy was indeed, against all expectation, doing splendidly. Dimity had drilled him well and he was <em>acting</em> and <em>emoting </em>and<em> sneering. </em>He must have practiced hard. Even Constance was impressed.</p><p>'Don't try and imitate Dimity' she lectured him when he came offstage. 'Make the role your own. Inhabit the dress like it's your own skin and let the character flow through you as you speak.'</p><p>Lavinia looked fondly at her wife. There were times when people expressed disbelief that this was the woman she'd fallen for but beneath that stern exterior was an earnest teacher that just wanted everyone to do well. And as soft as a kitten if you stroked her the right way.</p><p>'Yes! Exactly that!'</p><p>Pippa and Dimity were grinning at the oddly matched couple. They were quite endearing, really.</p><p>'Now, on to the garden scene. Cinderella and the prince, let's go.'</p><p>They bounded into the stage and instead of watching them, the boys watched the other three for a response. Constance was making notes, Lavinia looked enraptured and Mr Daisy looked as if he was searching for where he had gone wrong before. Dimity certainly made a dashing prince but it wasn't just that. Baz and Gaz stared. They were definitely eye fucking. Constance gave an amused cough. Lavinia glanced at her enquiringly and inclined her head ever so slightly. Constance raised an eyebrow in response. So they had noticed.</p><p>'Well! What a productive rehearsal it has been' exclaimed Lavinia half an hour later. 'Shall we go to the pub?'</p><p>'I'll be driving so just a diet coke for me' said Pippa regretfully.</p><p>'Ah too bad. We'll have to get drunk another time' said Dimity with a wink. Pippa giggled girlishly and her nephews rolled their eyes. Pippa flirted a lot in general but they were getting bored of watching it and they wanted a beer. By the end of the night, Baz and Gaz had found out a lot more about their fellow thespians. The women were teachers. Music, chemistry and P.E. were the subjects at hand but it was Mr Daisy who proved to be the wildcard. He was a professional photographer.</p><p>'Well my father was a clock maker and I did learn the trade. But there isn't much call for that now. I can fix a clock though. So I changed course and started photography. I photograph all sorts.'</p><p>They badgered him for the most ridiculous thing he'd ever done. He admitted to a few boudoir shoots and they all howled with laughter, even Constance spluttered into her gin and tonic.</p><p>'I took Lavinia and Constance's wedding photos' he said shyly. Pippa and Dimity squealed in delight.</p><p>'That's right. Since then he's been a firm friend.'</p><p>Constance nodded, bestowing a hint of a smile upon him. That was the explanation for his presence then. Only a good friend could get up on stage and embarrass himself in the name of friendship and support.</p><p>Gaz sensed movement and leaned back to check. He was pretty sure that Pippa and Dimity were playing footsie under the table. And so they were…whoa. That was…what were they doing? Pippa's foot was stroking Dimity's leg and they were looking at each other over their drinks. Women were weird with each other, Gaz thought as he resumed pretending that he'd not seen a thing. He did tell Baz when they got home as he had the suspicion that Pippa was messaging Dimity only a few minutes after they had left the pub. They thought about it.</p><p>'Well we like her. She's a laugh' reasoned Gaz.</p><p>'Yeah' agreed Baz.</p><p>No more was said about it. If Pippa wanted to pursue a P.E. teacher, that was her business.</p><p>The first evening of the pantomime approached and Mr Daisy's nerves were getting to him again. Constance strode up to him for a firm pep talk.</p><p>'Now remember, confidence and control, that's the secret to success' she said. He nodded anxiously. Lavinia took him through some breathing exercises while she checked the final details. Dimity and Pippa walked in a little late, not looking at each other. Dimity was holding the box of doughnuts.</p><p>'Places, ladies, places!'</p><p>Lavinia was wearing her best frock. She was going to introduce the show and then keep an eye on everyone in the wings. She gave piano duty to a pleasant young man called Serge. With five minutes until curtain up, she fussed around until everyone was ready. Constance wore her white dress with stoicism although it was obvious that the volume of the tulle skirt was distracting her. She had big feet. Well, long feet, encased in ballet slippers. The tiara rested on her bun and her wand had been painstakingly repainted by Pippa with silver nail polish. Pippa looked fetchingly mussed in a designer sort of way while Dimity was suave in pale blue satin. The boys were atrociously attired in plaited wigs, bras stuffed with cotton balls and sprigged dresses but they were enjoying it. Even better was Mr Daisy's transformation. Pippa had primped him up impeccably in a multicoloured dress and careful pinning, bra stuffed perfectly, his turban completing the outfit. That free lipstick she got in a magazine wasn't her colour but plum suited him so well.</p><p>'You might want to consider a side-line in drag. You look fabulous' Dimity said to him. He lost momentum and stuttered a bit until Constance prepped him again. They were gratified to see that he did marvellously on stage, sweeping around and sneering while Baz and Gaz minced around with twittery voices. The audience were a delight, heckling and booing them, wolf whistling Pippa when she came on with the feather duster (which she played up to with great delight) and laughing whenever it merited it. Lavinia had written a cracking script and Baz and Gaz found themselves laughing in the wings. Lavinia fortified her wife with a kiss on the cheek and Constance glided onto the stage in pirouette, a lovely smile on her face, gracious and elegant, voice melodious. They all gaped at her. Constance Hardbroom certainly had some tricks up her sleeve.</p><p>The quick change had been perilous. Constance made a show of inspecting the carriage while Pippa had nearly overturned the Chinese screen in the dark while wrestling the dress on. Lavinia zipped her up unseen and whipped the screen away just in time for the spotlight to shine on her. The audience gasped in appreciation at the slinky dress skimming her curves. More wolf whistling. Constance deemed her appropriate to go to the ball in and warned her of midnight.</p><p>Dimity sauntered on looking splendid and mimed a yawn, delivered her lines with relish and was entirely convincing as the bored playboy. The boys didn't fail to notice how her eyes lit up as Pippa approached, even as they were tangoing around the stage with the ensemble. They'd grumbled about the dancing at first but it was actually quite fun. Of course the ballgown was fuchsia, Pippa's favourite colour. What fun it was to twirl around the floor in it. Even better was Dimity's strong hands securing her so closely…she hoped those hands would unzip her later. She had good reason to hope it as Dimity had offered to zip her up for the dress rehearsal. She felt a shiver run down her spine and their eyes met in the mirror. They froze looking at each other until Lavinia had bustled in and exclaimed how pretty she was. Pippa felt flustered but Dimity just grinned at her and sauntered out. She was finding it difficult to concentrate now that they were so close to each other.</p><p>Oh, it was time to dislodge her shoe. She did it very elegantly and left Dimity stranded on the stage looking forlornly at the silver jelly shoe in her hands. The audience cheered and applauded with the arrival of the menfolk in drag and before long, it was over. Their first performance! Was it their imagination or was Dimity and Pippa kissing for rather a long time? The audience seemed to wholeheartedly appreciate it.</p><p>'Auntie, please, you were wrapped around her like a feather boa' said Gaz disgustedly. They were having sushi and Bacardi breezers back at Pippa's house after the show. Pippa blushed.</p><p>'I was not!' She contested hotly and Dimity looked down to conceal her smile.</p><p>'There was a foot pop and everything' said Baz, rolling his eyes. They hadn't known what that was until they'd been forced to watch the <em>Princess Dairies</em> film with their little sisters.</p><p>'There was some definite dipping action.' The audience had loved that.</p><p>'It was in character' she protested. Dimity had been spontaneous and she wasn't going to bat her off. Mr Daisy caught Constance and Lavinia grinning at each other and looked nonplussed. Then he looked at the others, realising what it meant.</p><p>'Oh! I see. Jolly good.'</p><p>The company groaned; Serge included. Even he had been quicker on the uptake.</p><p>'Nothing's going on' said Pippa unconvincingly.</p><p>'I saw you zipping and unzipping her dress' Constance commented smugly, looking at Dimity, popping a piece of sushi in her mouth. Dimity spoke up, wondering how transparent they had been.</p><p>'Ok well it wasn't supposed to go anywhere but…'</p><p>'You snogged' chorused Baz and Gaz. Now it was obvious why they'd been late. It was Dimity's turn to look abashed, she'd caught up with Pippa in the car park to chivalrously take the box of doughnuts and open the door for her and had taken all of ten seconds for her to stop making small talk, lean in and kiss her. Pippa certainly hadn't protested.</p><p>'Well I think it's lovely. You two seem well suited to each other' said Lavinia delightedly.</p><p>'We knew you fancied her.'</p><p>'Boys!' Pippa scolded them.</p><p>'Saw you playing footsie under the table at the pub.'</p><p>Pippa buried her head in her arms while Dimity chucked screwed up tissues at them. Baz and Gaz already knew they were going to like having her in the family.</p>
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